I’m tossing and turning and getting what seems to be a sleepless night. Finally, I fall into a deep sleep but not for long because it’s now 7AM and my alarm is going off. I hit snooze to get 10 more minutes of sleep. The alarm goes off again and I reluctantly get out of bed to take a shower then get dressed. I have some yogurt and fruit for breakfast and pack a lunch to take to work. By 8AM, 8:15 the latest I’m out the door and on my way to downtown Richmond, Virginia to my job at an advertising firm. I park my car and then walk about two blocks to my office. I take the elevator up to the 8th floor, walk into the office, put my lunch in the fridge then sit at my desk. I pull out my laptop check my emails and then sit in that same chair in front of my laptop for 8 hours.
This was my routine for five months. For five months, I did the same exact thing Monday through Friday. I know it’s not very common to get your dream job as soon as you graduate from college and so you’ll have to settle for a job that pays because student loans come at you fast! For some time I was unhappy at this job. I didn’t enjoy the work I was doing, I felt complacent. I knew immediately that this wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and a few months in I felt so dissatisfied. I felt like there was more to life than working a routine 9-5 that I wasn’t even remotely passionate about. I felt like life was passing me by and I needed to be in control again. I need something to be excited about, I needed passion in my life, I needed to feel alive again. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt full and excited about life. I sat and really thought about the last time I felt full, passionate and excited about life. Excited to wake up each morning and tackle the day head on. After thinking about this for some time, I remembered that the last time I felt that alive was when I was taking my month long trip to Europe traveling alone.
I closed my eyes and went back to that time, when I was traveling and learning about myself daily. I felt so alive and in tuned with myself. I remember my last day on my month long trip like it was yesterday. I was standing out by the water in
Amalfi in southern Italy. I remember feeling the Italian sun on my skin and feeling satisfied and content. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be and made a promise to myself that I would move to Europe the next year. I loved everything about the lifestyle and from talking and interacting with people along the way, it seemed to me that Europeans just did life the right way. They were truly living. They were traveling and often, they didn’t live to work, they had a life outside of work.
They spend so much time with their families and in a way live in the moment. This was the life I wanted and I knew that sitting in front of a computer each day in an office I didn’t particularly care for doing work I did not care about at all, wasn’t for me, so I decided to make a change.
A friend of mine told me about teaching English in Spain and I thought to myself that sounds perfect. I wanted to live in Europe and this job would allow me to do just that. I really didn’t think twice about it because I knew this was something I had to do for myself to feel alive inside again. I remember telling some friends and family members and of course I received both negative and positive feedback. I was asked if I was crazy and why I would want to pack up and move to a country where I don’t know a single soul, why I would want to live in a country where I don’t speak the language and even asked if I was scared to make such a seemingly drastic change in my life.
I received support from my family because they knew that this is what I always wanted. I knew that living in Europe would afford me the luxury of traveling which was the one thing that I was absolutely wholeheartedly passionate about. Travel was the thing that was missing from my life. Travel was what made me feel complete and made me feel alive. Getting lost in an unfamiliar place, having issues communicating and trying to understand people, immersing myself in new cultures and learning about cultures and traditions much different from my own, seeing the world around me and most importantly putting myself out of my comfort zone to begin thinking in a completely new way; this is what I felt I needed back into my life to make me feel satisfied and truly happy again. The people closest to me knew this and accepted that and were more than supportive the entire way.
I’m a very spiritual person and tend to do things and make decisions based on feelings. Does this feel right, does this make me feel happy, does this make me feel like I have passion in my life? I believe that feelings are a great indicator of what I should or shouldn’t do. I also believe in the universe guiding you. I truly and whole heartedly believe that whatever you truly desire or want in this lifetime and in your heart believe you will get or accomplish, the universe will conspire to make it happen for you. Some people don’t believe in this or even think I’m crazy and in my own world, but the law of attraction is very real and works, if you believe.
I made up my mind during the Summer of 2014 that I was going to move to Europe in 2015. While I was standing basking in the Italian sun, I closed my eyes and said quietly to myself, “Next year I will be living in Europe”. After returning home, I wrote on a post-it note that I would be living and working in Europe and put this note on my mirror. Every morning after waking up, I looked at my post-it note, closed my eyes imagining myself living in Europe and how it would feel then repeated, “I’m thankful now that I’m living and working in Europe”. I didn’t know how this was going to happen what job I would have or even where in Europe I would be living but I already accepted the fact that this was what my reality was going to be. Fast forward a few months and my childhood friend tells me about how she’s teaching English in Spain and that she thinks it’s something that I would enjoy and that it would allow me to travel. I took it with a grain of salt and then she mentioned it to me again and sent me the information and then I decided to go ahead and take this seriously. Come January 2015, I applied and sent off my paperwork then in April I received an email saying that I was accepted and in May I received an email saying that I was going to be teaching at a secondary school in Madrid; and in September 2015 I was on my way to Spain with two suitcases, to start my new life. This story is my testimony. I told the universe what I wanted and believed and accepted that it would happen without worrying about the how, and it was manifested and came to fruition.
I hate to sound like a cliche or a broken record, but it’s very true that your words and thoughts hold so much power. The words you speak out of your mouth literally prophesy what will happen in your life. You have to speak your dreams into existence and not worry about the how. The universe will take care of the how, if you just focus on the what and believe.
I was so ecstatic to start this new chapter of my life that I didn’t even think twice about it. I wasn’t scared or nervous because I knew that everything would work itself out. Fear is only in our heads, fear makes you believe that you are inadequate or that you are incapable and prevents you from being great. I knew I wanted to be great, I knew that I had within me everything I would need to be ok. I knew that the universe would take care of me and that I just had to tell the universe what I wanted and patiently wait for it to bring it to me at the right time.
I say all of this to say, that you shouldn’t let fear hold you back nor should you let people’s idea of what you should be or how you should live your life hold you back. You have to live life passionately without any regrets. You don’t want to ever look back and think, what if. What if I had moved, what if I had taken that trip, etc. So don’t let fear hold you back! Live in the moment and live freely and passionately.